Siggy Osteen

February 19, 2009 — 5 Comments

siggy-osteen

Many of my friends have seen this as a group on my facebook page, but I thought I would post it here.  I was joking around with my pastor about how I was leaving our church to go to Joel Osteen’s church.  Of course I was completely joking, but it expanded into us joking a lot with each other.  If you don’t know about Joel Osteen, he is arguably the most influential Evangelical Christian on the planet, which is extremely unfortunate.  Now if you remember my last post, it talked about my grace for people who I think are somewhat off the mark.  However, Joel Osteen simply preaches that having a positive attitude will change your course in life and then randomly throws some Bible verses (that are of course out of context) in there.  A lot of what he says is true, and I think that positive energy is great.  However, Osteen claims that all paths can lead to heaven (see John 14:6) and never talks about hell.  Now I appreciate that Osteen is not out there trying to scare people into salvation, but at the same time, I wonder what Osteen would say to these questions.  Well, Larry King asked him on his show (watch short snipets here and here) and you can hear Osteen dance around the truth (official transcript here).  Again, I appreciate him saying that he is not the judge of others, but even Larry King understands.  At the end of the day, the Bible does claim that salvation is through Christ alone.  That doesn’t mean I judge anyone.  I’m friends with an atheist, a budhist, a psikh, etc.  It has nothing to do with me judging, but simply saying this is what the Bible says is truth, take it or leave it.  Of course, there is always the other extreme which you also see on tv of preachers pounding on the pulpit and saying “repent or burn”.  Of course I don’t identify with that, but I do advocate the entire gospel to be shared.

So, in the joking manner between my pastor/friend and I, I ended up typing up this message that mocks Osteen.  It is not meant for malicious intent, just to be funny:

“The Sermon for tonight comes from the top of my head…i mean, from the bottom of my heart.

Let’s jump right in to Siggy’s words and then add some Bible verses to my thoughts (and my new-found Texas accent!). Let’s not worry about whether there is one true God – those debates are not worth our time. Let’s focus on remaining positive. If you believe it, God will give it to you. Look at Matthew 7:7 – “”Ask, and it will be given to you”. You ask for anything, God will give it to you! All you have to do is believe you can get a new job, and it will happen. I know what all the negative people in our media are saying about the economy, but God is bigger than our economy, amen? My brothers and sisters, now I don’t like to call it the “prosperity Gospel” because that has a negative connotation to it, but the Bible does say that the righteous will always prosper. If you have the negative person at work, just encourage them, and they will surely become a more positive person. Ask Jesus into your life, and remain positive, and your troubles are sure to be minimized. Thank you for your time. Would you consider donating to my ministry?”

Haha.  Again, this is all in good fun and mocks televangelists.  I will close this post with an incredible message from John Piper.  I’m no Calvinist and Piper is a bit crazy sometimes, but this is a bold quick sermon.  Play below:

Jonathan Sigmon

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5 responses to Siggy Osteen

  1. Well hey, I clicked on a google ad on the side of my blog for tickets to go see Joel Osteen through TicketMaster. Price range: $43 to $364.

    Wow. Oh how we love the American Jesus.

  2. First of all, that’s ridiculous prices to go see Osteen. Imagine if he go to something incredible like heal the sick or raise the dead! His ticket prices would go through the roof!

    Secondly. DO NOT CLICK YOUR OWN GOOGLE ADS< SIGS! You will be penalized by the Google gods and that could included banning you from displaying their ads here. They call it “Click Fraud,” because you actually get paid for each of your own clicks. A big no-no. Just FYI …

  3. Ha I know Shawn – I just couldn’t resist. I should’ve just googled it and found out how much the ticket prices were. Thanks for looking out for me though, bro.

    And it would be awesome to see him (or any of us) healing the sick or raising the dead, like I believe we can do through Christ. The problem is that anytime a big name preacher does it (i.e. Benny Hinn), it turns into a big spectacle and is not legit at all. *sigh*. Vanilla Ice said it best: “Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know”. lol.

  4. please never quote vanilla ice again. STOP!

    …..collaborate and listen.

  5. For you Osteen fans, you may like this video. It’s old, but it’s still funny. 🙂

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