Archives For questions

13 Engagement Questions

July 18, 2010 — 2 Comments

engagement bench

Sarah and I are getting married in less than 3 weeks now.  To say I’m excited is a bit of an understatement and is a direct result of why I’ve been neglecting the ole blogosphere.  I was asked these questions by a bridesmaid friend to be read at our Rochester shower, which will provide you more insight into Sarah and I’s lives/relationship.  And some laughs too.

We also have one of those “The Knot” websites – and I tried to do it up pretty good, so you can check out some videos there.


13 Engagement Questions:

1. When when and where was your and Sarah’s first kiss (with one another)?

Well the first kiss was actually when I asked Sarah to date me, which was on the cheek, but she denied me on that one.  This took place in October, and she said we had to wait until Christmas to kiss.  Then, Christmas came, and I did not kiss her.  When it came to New Years Eve, and we were driving home 6 hours in what was the worst blizzard I’ve ever been in, Sarah asked me why I hadn’t kissed her yet.  I kind of deflected the question and tried to get out of it, as I had already planned to kiss her later that night.  I did end up doing that, but the story also shows how open and honest our communication has been throughout our relationship.  I also got some sort of weird enjoyment out of having her hanging for that week in between Christmas and New Years, wondering when I would finally kiss her.

2. Describe that kiss in one word.


3. If Sarah were a flower, which one would she be? Why?

She would be a rose, because roses are my favorite.  And they’re beautiful too. :)

4. After you and Sarah are married, what is the first thing of yours that she will get rid of?

Probably what she labels “my junk”.  Which would not be one or two things.  I am a pack rat and love my old trinkets.  I suspect one day to come home and be missing a significant portion of my childhood and to be very upset.  If there was one thing though, it would probably be my old clothes, making room for hers.

5. What is the first thing of hers that you will get rid of?

Her uncomfortable love seat.  It shouldn’t even be labeled a love seat, because it is uncomfortable and impossible to take a nap on.

6. When will you have children and how many? (Don’t worry, we won’t hold you to it. Accidents happen :) )

We will have 2 children and we will wait a few years (probably 3).  No whoopsie-babies, Lord willing. :)  Sarah wants 3, but that is just because she grew up in a house with like 14 kids.

7. What is Sarah’s favorite flavor of ice cream?

Sarah does not like ice cream, as it upsets her stomach.  But she is a big sucker for frozen yogurt.  Her favorite flavor is chocolate chip cookie dough.  She recently bought peanut butter, and it’s been in there for weeks.  Bad choice.  Back to chocolate chip cookie dough we go.

8. Coke or Pepsi?

Water. She’s a health nut.

9. How many cups of coffee does Sarah drink in one day (currently)?

Well I have been trying to get Sarah to ween off of her ridiculously high coffee intake for a long time now.  Luckily (in a weird sort of way), she recently got sick and could not drink coffee for a week.  Now, she is drinking about 3 cups a day, rather than 10.

10. What is a petname/nickname that you have for Sarah?

We don’t really do pet names, but I call her “babe” or “Sar” a good bit.  This question makes me want to come up with one though.  I’m open to suggestions.

11. What is your favorite physical feature of Sarah’s? What is her favorite physical feature of you?

My favorite feature of Sarah’s is her big eyes and her cute face (I guess that’s two). Her favorite feature of me is either my abnormally large biceps or my eyes (lame).

12. What first attracted you to Sarah?

What first attracted me to Sarah was her personality and the way she communicated with people.  When we were at Sarah and John Cleghorn’s wedding, I observed her from a distance and how she interacted with others.  By the second day of the weekend, I was asking questions about her to John Cleghorn and Andy Allen, not worried at all about covering up my intrigue of this woman. :)

13. Now something gooshey to keep the old ladies happy: What about Sarah do you find most attractive/loveable/enjoyable/etc/?

The thing I love most about Sarah is her love of people.  She cares deeply about others and makes many sacrifices for those around her.  Her love of God shines through in this area of her life.  This also spills into her love for me.  She forgives me when I do something (or say something) stupid and cares for me when I have a bad day.  She is also a phenomenal listener, who is insightful at discerning when to simply lend a ear and when to speak up and re-direct the situation towards a solution.  She accepts those that are different from her and people feel loved after spending time with her.  She’s a keeper.

ring bling

Matthew Paul Turner-On Questions from Cross Point Church on Vimeo.

The mystery of God has become the single most important aspect of my faith over the past few months.  I continue to desire to learn more about God every day and understand His goodness, but at the same time, I end up at the end of my days being drawn closer to the Divine not by the answers I’ve received, but instead by the things God has left purposefully ambiguous.  It is hard to reflect on God’s goodness when we are living in a state where we don’t know what is next or when we are down in the dumps about our job (or lack thereof) or when our neighbor is dying of cancer.  However, it is reassuring to know that no matter what we are thinking or feeling, God is God.  I had a friend share some thoughts with me this week about how it is so easy for him (and all of us) to base our feelings off of our current situation. We ask, “How could God let this happen?” First off, God wants us to ask these questions!  The Bible is filled, front to back, with people asking why God is doing things the way He is and for me that is really encouraging.  It is reassuring to know that God wants to hear us yell at him and praise him depending on our circumstances and how we are feeling.  However, it was good for me to reflect that when we are in a rough situation or grieving for someone else’s, we often times can begin to put ourselves in the center of the universe rather than the Divine.  I do not mean to be insensitive as I know the pain and hurt we all observe, but at the same time, it was a real humbling realization for me to know that God is in control and loudly hears the cries of the oppressed.

If you leave with one point from this video, though, make sure that it is that it is OK to go to sleep at night without all the answers.  Any theologian who continues to claim truth in every realm of life from God or the Bible is probably in danger of legalism rather than simply remaining awestruck by the loving, omniscient God of the Universe.

My hope is that this video resonates as loudly for you as it did for me.


What if you could create a church that was exactly the way you would have it? What would it look like?  Who would come?  Who would you impact?  How many lives would you end up making a positive influence on? Who, in effect, might that group actually end up building up walls for rather than bringing people closer to the way of Jesus of Nazareth?

Now, what if you had to choose a church in your area and accept it for all of its flaws, but also felt comfortable enough to bring someone with many different life experiences?  What would you place as the biggest priority of the group?  Community? “Jesus”?  The trinity? The people you attracted? How the message was relayed?

What if there was a church that placed value in all of these areas?  What if there was a church that placed a high value on the mystery of God, yet still said there were countless ways to get to know the Divine? What if this church drew lines in the sand on many things, but accepted you regardless of your faith background?

What if there was a church that was filled with diversity? What if at this place there were suburban and urban people, hippies and rockers, rappers and someone who’s been shot 9 times (no…50 cent doesn’t go to this church, but he would be welcomed), vegetarians and meat lovers, young and vibrant, old and wise, and people with young families?

What if there was a church that truly valued people more than anything else? What if one of the core values was to never let the building become a financial priority sucking up unnecessary resources, but still found a place large enough for gathering?  What if this place threw a free breakfast for your city and had a woman so touched and overwhelmed when she found this out that tears steamed down from her face (sounds like Coldplay lyrics)?  What if this lady, the week before this mother’s day event, was evicted from her home because of actions caused by her helping hand to her own daughter and son-in-law? What if this church bought her a bus pass after providing a free meal, no strings attached?  What if you had someone from this church community who lost his job in a tough economy and another married couple from the church agreed to let this young man live with them while he worked and saved up enough money to be on his own again?  What if another group left a couple of days ago to go build schools in the rainforests of South America?  What if you had people in your congregation who struggled with binge eating, alcoholism, weed smoking, pride, lust, and anything else under the sun? What if in spite of these things, these people daily tried to make strides towards becoming more like their Creator?

What if at Christmas time, a teacher from the church group came to the community and said that there were tons of children in need for clothes, food, and school supplies?  What if the church sacrificed receiving any sort of money for 6-8 weeks and gave it all to children in need? What if there was a devastating tragedy of a local 9 year girl being shot and killed and the community deciding to take its entire offering of over $500 to give to the family?

What if your worship leader had dread-locks? What if you had a whole host of musicians and worship leaders that all brought different ideas and talents to the service? What if there were no performances, but instead there were frequent times of silence and reflection? What if as a sign of unity, communion was done during every Sunday morning gathering?

What if there was a church that believed in equality? What if there was a church that believed that woman could be just as good (if not better) leaders than men and that the idea of men being over woman was not only wrong, but harmful to half of humanity?  What if there was a church that had a homosexual couple that drove over an hour to come join the community because they felt comfortable?  What if there was a church that didn’t judge the couple immediately when they walked in the door?  What if there was a church that said, “we don’t make policies on people”?  What if this group also had people end up at all sorts of stances on gay marriage and any other sort of hot topic issue?  What if the worship leader told this homosexual couple that God loved them, but that there were people in the group who would say that was sexual sin, just like the rest of us had sexual sin in our lives?  What if that couple said that they respected that much more than simply saying God loves you and you can do no wrong?  What if all of us sinners were growing together? Continue Reading…